The Random Randomness
by felinefairy91
Summary: Interesting fic. Not Recommended. You may read out of curiousity. ok i know that there is not much Harry Potter in the first chapter, but they'll be more later on. R&R FUNNY!


**Disclaimer: Hello. I am now disclaiming this story.**

**Oh and yeah, me and my friends like to make weird stories and put them on fanfic. So this isn't the last story we'll ever make of randomness! MARK MY WORDS! Here's one of our very odd stories...**

The Random randomness

(Song 'Mama I'm a big girl now' starts playing) Stop telling me what to do-oo! Don't treat me like a girl of two-oo! Oh sorry! Wait who's saying this? It is me, the narrator! The one who dictates this story, who conquers the page with words! And my name? Why should I tell you? I, Shrek the second, shall never tell you who I am! Therefore, you shall never find out! Mwa ha ha ha---oh, and yeah, and now the story.

"Uhh...son, you just told them your name." said Fiona with a confused look on her face.

"I want everything MY way! Go buy me every Barbie© accessory that ever existed! NOWW!"

Fiona left sadly on her "horse" cart. (If you were wondering, the horses' name is Courage the cowardly dog.)

Shrek, at work, was having a bad day. His boss Homer ate ALL the donuts!!! Then, a new employee was hired—A lump of poo. Or rather, many billions of employees. Shrek was tempted to flush the poo in the toilet, toot toot toot The powerpuff girls pick up the phone.

"Yes Mayor?" said Blossom.

"Um no this is Barney, I mean Daniel Radcliffe, I mean Shrek!" said the top-secret narrator's dad.

"What do you want?" asked Blossom.

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" said Shrek.

"Get to the point!"

"Well, I was at work and Homer ate all the doughnuts and I want you to-"

"NO!" Blossom hung up.

Shrek marched down the stairs causing an earthquake from where he was, up until China. Meanwhile, in China...

"Mama! Mama! I just finished my tooth pick model-without glue!" –rumbling of earthquake- "Ahh! It's gone! My model...I need a hug!" said the sad sad boy. Ok, now let's get back to Shrek.

Shrek went to the V.P of the Company-Maggie Simpson.

"Your dad," Shrek yelled "ate all the donuts!"

"(sucking on her pacifier)" (Translation: What do I do about it?)

"Order more donuts!" roared Shrek.

Maggie picks up a salmon and smacks him.

"AHH!! I'm Blind! Shrek runs into a moose head on the wall and get's knocked out.

.........About an hour later.........

When Shrek wakes up, he is in a very strange world! He was also surrounded by...donuts! (Filled with jelly so he'll never go thirsty!)

He looks around and sees a sign that read:

You wanted donuts....

Next sign:

You GOT DONUTS!!!

Then he heard a little high-pitched voice that was laughing an evil laugh! (You know those ones that go 'Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!')

Shrek stayed and ate Jelly Donuts for five days, waiting to be rescued. Meanwhile, the narrator was having fun playing with his new Barbie© Accessories.

Shrek, the second smiled at his Barbie© collection. He gasped.

"MOMMY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET KEN! I HATE KEN!"

Fiona came to view, "Now son, aren't we going a little too far of this jealousy of Ken with Barbie©?"

The narrator threw a fit. Then he decided that he'll have fun anyways popping Ken's head off and feeding it to Donkey, but whenever he got near Donkey, Donkey would take out a 13 bullet shotgun and pointed it at him.

"Nuh uh! Last time you tricked me into eating that ken head I lost one of my lives!"

"Really? How many lives do you have?" The ogre kid asked.

"Umm, I don't know."

"Let's find out shall we?" He inched the ken head closer to Donkey.

"Ok!" Donkey agreed as he opened his mouth.

But Donkey didn't die so the narrator pulled Harry Potter out of Hogwarts and whispered something in his ear.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _Harry said as he pointed his wand at Donkey's chest.

Donkey just stood there, unharmed.

"_Imperio!"_

Still nothing happened.

Harry scratched his head. "Why won't he die?"

The frustrated and disturbed kid looked at him. "Oh! That's why! You're not Harry Potter! You Daniel Radcliffe!"

Daniel Radliffe/ Harry Potter looked at him confused. "Say what?" Then he disappeared in thin air because the real authors of this story got sick of him.

Finally, the top secret narrator got angry and trampled over the annoying donkey. "Die! Damn you!" He kept on jumping and stomping on him but Donkey was still alive. Now he was really ticked off so he rescued his dad (don't ask how) and fed him beans. His dad let out a nasty gas and the Donkey finally died, or at least passed out.

"Good enough." Shrek, the second said as he went off somewhere.

**A/N One of our other stories we've made is "You don't even Want to Know" So read that if you like this one.** **Review! It will make us all happy. (My friends and I)**


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